Decent Social Skills

Let's practice talking with shy people and anxious people.

In this session you'll partner with someone roleplaying a shy person that wants to talk to you but keeps running out of things to say. By taking charge and leading the conversation, you'll make the experience much more fun for both of you and face some of your own insecurities about these potentially awkward situations.

Then we'll switch to roleplaying and anxious person that can't stop talking. The more they talk, the more they worry and the more they worry the more they talk. The way to help here is to interrupt and contribute to the conversation. It's going to feel like getting onto an escalator or those crazy elevators that don't have doors and don't stop on the floors.

Expect these exercises to bring up some insecurities. You might feel like you are making the shy partner uncomfortable or that you're being rude to the anxious partner. Rest assured that being able to handle these situations better will make things more comfortable for you and your conversation partners in the future.

Rejection sucks. Let's get better with it.

Rejection is an inevitable part of social interaction. If you put yourself out there, you will eventually experience people avoiding eye contact or making up an excuse to walk away from an interaction.

You're not going to be everybody's cup of tea. Even if you were, they may have something else on their mind. None of this is news to anyone. That doesn't make it hurt any less.

Most trainings I've attended have dealt with this by saying "don't let it bother you" and "the more you avoid it, the more sensitive you will become" with the ultimate solution being to "just do it anyway". That takes a tremendous amount of willpower and courage. It's valid, but has the potential to make things worse if they go poorly.

We don't have to be so extreme.

In this session, we will roleplay scenarios where you personally would choose to reject someone that was approaching you. By practicing rejecting, we hope to loosen up some of feelings of injustice that we might feel when we get rejected.

You will have a choice about whether you want to participate in the exercises and at what intensity. We will only stick to the types of rejection you'd face as a mild mannered person in a public setting, but please be gentle with yourself.

This is a "dry run" event. It's one of the first times we're hosting it. Expect some things to be bumpy or unrefined until we figure out the best format for this event. Feedback and suggestions are very welcome.

Let's practice starting low stakes conversations in low pressure environments. It's the gateway to more exciting and fulfilling social interactions in the future.

Walking up to an intimidatingly beautiful or handsome stranger and trying to get them to like you is high pressure, high stakes. Talking to someone who looks friendly at a potluck, mixer or house party is low pressure. Our intention will set the stakes.

To make it low stakes, our intention will be to simultaneously a) learn about the person we're talking to and b) share what we feel comfortable with about ourselves. It's not to get them to like us, sell them anything, or convince them of something we believe in.

During the conversation you might find common interests, passions or activities. Or you might not. Either outcome is a win. Our goal is to learn to relax and maybe even feel playful while having these types of conversations.

We'll discuss when it might be a good idea to exchange contact info and when doing so is more likely to leave you ghosted.