Dating & Opposite Sex Connections for Liberal Singles 50+
Gurnee, IL
Yes, this is a dating group for people 50+ who are looking for one or more real, long-term relationships or friendships with members of the opposite sex. It is a group for those of us who STILL desire serious, mutually supportive companionship and maybe intimacy, even in our older age. I started this group because I am spending Way too much time alone and would like at least one closer relationship with a male that extends beyond a meetup event! Our purpose here is to bring opposite sex members together based on things in common.
First Things First: I have used the term “liberal” because that is the best descriptor of my views. This is a dating and relationship group, not a political group, but it is pointless to date people whose views we feel are seriously misinformed or ultimately destructive. If you think Trump won the last election, would vote for that criminal again, are an “anti-vaxxer”, a Q-Anon believer or believe the “far-right” media, this is NOT the group for you. This group is also not tailored to any particular religion. If you have fundamentalist, very literal religious type beliefs, this is also not the group for you. But for all others: WELCOME!
This group has a more general purpose than a strict dating group in that it seeks to forge “opposite sex connections” for those 50+, but the specifics of those connections may not fit any conventional mold. The reasons for my wording are several: In our age group, you can’t assume where a man or woman is at with regard to intimacy. I’d personally like intimacy in a relationship, but many people, both men & women in my age range, are done with intimacy. This is usually due to the effects of aging on our bodies & minds. And some people have simply had enough of conventional “dating”, but still would like ways to connect with the opposite sex with friendship or interests. So here you can traditionally “date”, just make friendships, or do both if you find the connections!
Since I’m still interested in “dating”, as well as making valuable male friendships, I want this group to bring members of the opposite sex together to figure out what they have in common & how they might connect. You can’t assume what a person is looking for until you find out about their personality, values, interests & many other attributes – and until they tell you! And that takes a little time…time that I hope to allow for in multiple meetup events I’ll call “socials”. The idea is that we make connections where we can ultimately get together OUTSIDE of meetup events – where most of life happens anyway!
This group is looking for people who want honest & serious connections, even if those connections are limited in scope. We are all TOO OLD to look for new friends or relationships that don’t have the potential for long term. We are too old to waste time by not bringing our best to a possible new connection: showing kindness, honesty, thoughtfulness & respect. This goes for friendships, as well as dating/relationship attempts.
LET’S BE REAL: Most of our lives are already behind us. We’ve seen some friends die & may now be managing some medical conditions. Most of us got heavier due to aging & we LOOK older! But do you still want more good human connection and are able to do some things?? Well, join the club! Making any decent connection TAKES TIME & should be valued for the long-haul, since we may not have time to find these connections again.
The point is to make the REST of our lives less lonely & more enriched with people we can relate to! To find connection, even if it’s not in the conventional ways. You might get lucky & find the traditional relationship you might desire. OR NOT. In the meantime, let’s find the ways we can enrich each other and find out what we have in common.
HERE ARE JUST A FEW EXAMPLES OF POSSIBLE CONNECTION:
Before you even think about “dating” someone, see if you have anything in common & if you feel a potential connection. Can you have a good conversation with this person? Do you share a number of common interests, or perspectives? Are you finding a sense of humor in common? We will have our “socials” where we find some of this out. The point is, you can find the WAYS in which you relate to someone: maybe intellectually, maybe humorously, maybe in shared activities, maybe in just feeling comfortable to hang out & relax together. We aren’t looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Goodbar (he died in the 80s), so we can focus on how we DO connect, and not worry about the ways in which we don’t.
We want to find people to relate to OUTSIDE of meetup events, as well as AT meetup events. I want to enrich my life with more friends, companions & “dating” (if possible). Other singles meetups have been great to have, but you simply CANNOT get to know anyone well if you’re limited to events. Don’t you want someone to know about YOU & YOUR life? Not just make very superficial chatter at one meetup event after another? Part of the purpose here is to get to know opposite sex members well enough that someone knows a reasonable amount about your life (& visa versa). How else can you be helpful with feedback for your friend, or provide any mutual support? You have to KNOW somebody some!
And of course, you look for hobbies or interests in common that you can share together. Maybe you’re both interested in art, music, afternoon outings, nature…whatever! Maybe you could use a partner to join you for “walk & talks”, where you get exercise while catching up with your lives. Maybe you find a physical connection where you both feel comfortable with mutual affection or even intimacy. Maybe you just want to go to dinner together and come back home and relax in front of the TV for a while! And maybe you can encourage each other to keep up with the seemingly endless tasks & responsibilities of life. IT’S ALL LEGAL!
So to hell with the conventional definition of relationships at this age. This is NOT a “get married” group, or promising to find your “soul mate” or “the one”. I don’t believe in those fairy tales. I made this group simply so that those of us who are serious & still desiring the closeness of a real relationship, or good friendships, COULD CONNECT! You can have a serious relationship with someone without a marriage certificate and without living together if you wish. It’s up to YOU TWO to determine how you want to configure your relationship. Keep those parts of your life that are working intact, and negotiate with your partner how and when you want to see each other. Determine which interests you want to share and how you want your time together spent.
The key is that you’re serious about a long-term relationship, or friendship, and are willing to provide mutual support & continuity…IF the two of you connect. I stated “IF” because you simply cannot know if you connect with another person until you take the time to get to know them. Just be respectful and honest with the other person and know your own boundaries – so you don’t misrepresent what you can offer.
\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~
We will have very low-pressure “socials” where we meet, make introductions, find out about interests, hobbies, and how a person would like someone to possibly fit into their life. There doesn’t need to be some exact script for how two people try to connect. How you connect can be determined over time, over multiple “socials”, and will need to be flexible enough to work for both parties. You’ll need to use the art of gentle negotiation and a little trial & error!
These socials will allow males and females to get a sense of each other and try to get that often subtle read on possible chemistry on a variety of levels. The best way to even just get a “feel” for other people is in a light-hearted, but structured format and I intend to provide some structure in conversation. AND IT HAS TO BE DONE LIVE. Screw social media! Screw dating apps that are full of SCAMS! They don’t work! We’ll be meeting LIVE & talking about all kinds of things, including what you might be looking for!
We know you can’t just meet new people and find some instant connection. It takes TIME to get to know anyone, so there is NO PRESSURE to delve into something UNTIL you get to know someone pretty well. BUT YOU AIN’T GETTIN’ ANY YOUNGER, HONEY!! So if you’re looking for something other than just a sporadic activity with a meetup group, or a con game with a dating site, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!
To be a member of this group, you MUST fill out the short questionnaire, the same as you would for any dating site. This is where you will provide an introduction to yourself. You MUST have a picture of your face so we know who you are. You also MUST be fully vaccinated and preferably “boosted”. Lastly, know that I created this group to find better connections IN MY OWN LIFE. I did NOT create this group to make a buck -- like several other “dating” groups. I pay good money to have any groups at all! And you will NOT be steered to a dating site; there are no con games here!
