What we’re about
New Coaching Offering: The Relationship Trigger Breakthrough
Do you struggle in relationships?
Do you become a version of yourself that you don’t recognise?
Do you abandon your own needs to avoid conflict and maintain connection?
ATTACHMENT & NERVOUS SYSTEM COACHING WITH NAT
Understanding how your attachment style and nervous system influences the way you seek connection can help to create safety and security in your relationships.
When you address your insecure attachment patterns, including nervous system dysregulation, to become more secure you’ll:
– learn to approach relationships from a place of connection, not protection
– learn to recognise and express your own emotions and needs
– become less triggered
– learn to show up more authentically in relationships
In this online Meetup group we'll:
– chat about attachment styles
– learn about how our nervous system dysregulation can sabotage our relationships
– share practical tools to move towards healthy co-regulation and self-regulation
– learn about core wounds, expressing needs, emotional patterns, boundaries and more!
Can't wait for our next event? Schedule your free 30-minute strategy call today (includes 1 personalised strategy to move you towards secure attachment) if you:
– feel unsafe in relationships
– struggle with boundaries
– have little/no awareness of your relationship needs
– struggle with conflict
– have relationship anxiety
Visit: https://thisbeinghuman.live
About Natalie:
Natalie is a trauma-informed attachment coach. Transform your relationships through a greater understanding of how attachment theory influences the way you seek connection. 121 attachment coaching available online or in Brisbane, Australia. Group events available online and throughout SE QLD.
Upcoming events (4+)
See all- Understanding Your Relationship Needs for Secure, Contented LoveLink visible for attendees£23.00
Relationship needs are a big deal – the success and satisfaction of our intimate relationships hinges on them.
Yet many of us with insecure attachment patterns struggle to identify our own needs, let alone advocate for them in a healthy, grounded way.
Subconsciously we may believe that:
- Our needs don’t matter
- We earn love through meeting others’ needs
- We’re responsible for meeting all of our own needs
- People can’t be trusted to meet our needs
- People will think our needs are too much
For 10 Lovely Humans Only
Calling on 10 lovely humans to join me online Wednesday May 21ST, 2025, at 7:30PM BST for a two-hour workshop on Understanding Your Relationship Needs for Secure, Contented Love.
In this two-hour workshop we’ll create a template for the success and satisfaction of our intimate relationships through:
- Understanding what we need to feel loved, content and secure
- Understanding our partner’s needs and why they’re important to them
- Being invested in meeting our partner’s needs, and vice versa
- Clearly communicating our limits and boundaries when it comes to meeting other’s needs
Participants will receive:
- An Understanding Your Relationship Needs workbook
- Suggested scripts for communicating needs and navigating conflict
- Simple recorded practices for self-soothing
Investment: Early-bird GBP17, available until April 19th. Full price GBP23.
About Natalie
Natalie is a trauma-informed attachment coach, specialising in nervous system regulation, limerence and enmeshment. Transform your relationships through a greater understanding of how attachment theory influences the way you seek connection. 121 attachment coaching available. Learn more at: https://thisbeinghuman.live/ or book a free 30-min strategy Zoom call at https://thisbeinghuman.as.me/
- Limerence: When Insecure Attachment Keeps Us Stuck in Obsessive LoveLink visible for attendees
If you’re looking for real love, but instead find yourself infatuated and even obsessed with someone who won’t be with you, you may be in the grips of limerence.
Limerence – first coined by psychologist Dorothy Tenov in the '70s – sees the limerent person unable to control their romantic fixation on the limerent object (LO), even if the other person doesn’t reciprocate.
If you:
• Experience frequent intrusive thoughts about the LO
• Have an overwhelming fear of rejection
• Idealise the LO – often without knowing them intimately (or at all!)
• Experience a rollercoaster of moods and emotions depending on whether the LO shows interest
• Feel excessively shy and awkward around the LO
• Fixate on improving yourself to win the LO’s love…Your attachment wounds may be keeping you invested in fantasy relationships.
Join me for this free event, Limerence: When Insecure Attachment Keeps Us Stuck in Obsessive Love.
• If you want to understand how your insecure attachment style makes you vulnerable to repeat limerence
• If you want to break free from the pain and loneliness that accompanies long-term limerence
• If you want to dive into why the neuroscience of limerence leaves you feeling powerless to move onDuring the 90-minute event you'll learn:
• The stages of limerence
• Which attachment styles are particularly vulnerable to limerence and why
• How limerence lights up the same control systems in the brain as drug addiction
• The role projecting our unmet emotional needs from childhood plays in limerenceAbout Natalie:
Natalie is a trauma-informed attachment coach, specialising in nervous system regulation, limerence and enmeshment. Transform your relationships through a greater understanding of how attachment theory influences the way you seek connection. 121 attachment coaching available. Learn more at: https://thisbeinghuman.live/ or book a free 30-min strategy Zoom call at https://thisbeinghuman.as.me/ - Rewriting the Core Wounds That Trigger LimerenceLink visible for attendees£23.00
Does limerence – aka person obsession - keep showing up in your relationships?
Are you often emotionally dysregulated?
Are you at the mercy of your triggers?
It could be that your core wounds - long-held limiting beliefs we layer over our experiences as adults - are causing you to settle for fantasy relationships with a limerent object (LO), rather than seek out the reciprocal relationships you deserve.
Subconscious beliefs like:
‘If only they loved me, I’d finally feel worthy and good enough.’
‘Staying in this fantasy relationship protects me from rejection.’
‘This person is my soulmate/twin flame so they’ll never abandon me.’
‘Being in limerence means I’ll never be trapped by the wrong person.’
The many benefits of healing core wounds include:
· Boosting self-esteem
· Becoming less triggered in relationships
· Approaching relationships from a place of genuine connection, not protectionFor 10 Lovely Humans Only
Calling on 10 lovely humans to join me online Wednesday June 4th, 2025, at 7:30PM BST for a two-hour workshop on Rewriting the Core Wounds That Trigger Limerence.In this two-hour workshop we’ll:
· Explore how core wounds form due to our early attachment experiences
· Identify the key core wound/s driving your limerence
· Create individual Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping scripts to rewrite your chosen core woundParticipants will receive:
· A Limerence and Core Wounds Workbook
· Suggested Core Wound EFT scripts
· A general Core Wound EFT tapping video recordingInvestment: Earlybird GBP17, available until May 15th. Full price GBP23.
Understanding Limerence
Limerence – first coined by psychologist Dorothy Tenov in the '70s – sees the limerent person unable to control their romantic fixation on the LO, even if the other person doesn’t reciprocate.If you:
• Experience frequent intrusive thoughts about the LO
• Have an overwhelming fear of rejection
• Idealise the LO – often without knowing them intimately (or at all!)
• Experience a rollercoaster of moods and emotions depending on whether the LO shows interest
• Feel excessively shy and awkward around the LO
• Fixate on improving yourself to win the LO’s love…Your attachment wounds may be keeping you invested in fantasy relationships.
Understanding Core Wounds
Core wounds are beliefs we acquire through conditioning. Ages 0-8 are our peak conditioning years due to our highly impressionable brainwave states.Those with insecure attachment styles tend to have more core wounds, where the securely attached’s core wounds are typically less intense, less frequently activated and situation specific.
The language of our core wounds is simple – ‘I am bad’, ‘I am alone’, ‘I am unsafe’, ‘I am unworthy’. This is because they were often formed before conscious, analytical thinking.
In adulthood, core wounds can present as an inability to regulate our emotions, including:
· Reactivity
· Emotional manipulation
· Controlling behaviourAbout Emotional Freedom Technique
EFT, commonly known as tapping, is a powerful practice that combines aspects of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) with ancient Chinese acupressure.During a tapping session you focus on the cause of stress, anxiety, or even physical pain while at the same time tapping EFT points that correspond with traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) meridians.
For over 2000 years meridians have been seen as energy pathways through which the body’s chi or life force flows. Today, researchers believe meridians are also linked to the nervous system and even brain activity.
Studies have found EFT beneficial for anxiety, depression and PTSD. Physiologically it's been found to lower cortisol and reduce blood flow to the amygdala. EFT is non-evasive, with no contraindications.
About Natalie
Natalie is a trauma-informed attachment coach, specialising in nervous system regulation, limerence and enmeshment. Transform your relationships through a greater understanding of how attachment theory influences the way you seek connection. 121 attachment coaching available. Learn more at: https://thisbeinghuman.live/ or book a free 30-min strategy Zoom call at https://thisbeinghuman.as.me/ - Co-Regulation: the Not-So-Secret Sauce of Secure RelationshipsLink visible for attendees
For Weekly Co-Regulation Support, Check Out the New Co-Regulation Exchange, Starting June!
Lovely Words about Co-Regulation Events by Lovely Humans
“The facilitator had an incredibly warm approach- the best session I’ve attended on Meetup”
“Thank you, you did a really good job, 20 seconds hug for you.”
“Host was very knowledgeable and established personal relationships amongst participants which created the ideal safe environment. Information provided was very much appreciated.”
“Great patient host. Implemented precautions for the safety of all.”
“Was super informative and engaging. Natalie did an amazing job holding space for people while controlling the content/timing.”
“I felt safe.”
“Brilliant, thank you.”
***
For most of my dating life, romantic relationships felt excruciating.
Simultaneously craving and rejecting close connection, I’d quickly become someone I didn’t recognise.
Due, in part, to what I now know were strong fearful avoidant attachment patterns, the initial stages of dating were often a breeze. I was the most charming, the most banter-y, the most confident version of myself.
But the moment I felt invested, a switch flicked.
Suddenly I was sensitive to even the slightest shift in the other person’s interest and attention, hypervigilant for signs of rejection and betrayal.
The more vulnerable I felt, the smaller I became.
This pattern played out time and time again, from my teens to my late 30s, until I finally twigged. To paraphrase author Jon Kabat-Zinn, wherever I went, there I was.
When I stumbled upon attachment theory the push-pull patterns I’d previously attributed to a broken picker, low self-esteem or even bad relationship juju began to make sense. I remember reading about insecure attachment and thinking ‘Oh, there I am.’
What Connection Should Look Like
According to attachment theory, secure attachment — which typically stems from consistent, stable caregiving in childhood — leads us, in adulthood, to seek proximity and connection to a loved-one when upset and overwhelmed.When a loved-one offers us support and validation in the face of our big feelings, when their nervous system calms ours, this is known as co-regulation. Co-regulation is the not-so-secret sauce of secure relationships.
At least, that’s how it should work.
Why Some People Fear Connection
In contrast to the securely attached, those of us who sit somewhere along the insecurely attached spectrum — whether anxious preoccupied, dismissive avoidant, or fearful avoidant — often view relationships through the distorted lens of protection rather than connection.If, as a child, you didn’t receive support to co-regulate, or your emotional development was hindered due to trauma, you may struggle with both co-regulation and self-regulation well into adulthood.
When support is offered, you may even reject it as it feels unfamiliar and therefore unsafe.
Are Your Subconscious Beliefs Blocking Co-Regulation?
The root cause of your insecure attachment may have been inconsistency or even abandonment in childhood (anxious preoccupied), emotional or physical neglect (dismissive avoidant) or chaos and trauma (fearful avoidant).These early experiences lead the insecurely attached person to develop subconscious core beliefs that can hinder healthy co-regulation.
Things like:
‘I’m responsible for meeting all my partner’s needs. But if I express my needs to my partner I might be abandoned. And also, why doesn’t my partner just know what I need without me having to say anything? Is it because they don’t love me?’ (Anxious preoccupied).
Or:
‘I can’t rely on my partner to meet my needs, and my partner shouldn’t rely on me. I don’t do vulnerability, and that’s just the way I am — I can’t change. When my partner tries to get me to open up, I can feel myself shutting down.’ (Dismissive avoidant).
And then there’s:
‘My partner can’t really be trusted to be there for me. I’ll suppress my needs until they eventually explode out of me. Then, if my partner doesn’t immediately understand my feelings, I may press eject on the relationship altogether. Forget them.’ (Fearful avoidant).
Tweaking Co-Regulation Techniques for the Insecurely Attached
For the securely attached, healthy co-regulation is second nature. For the insecurely attached, it can take work.Join me Sunday June 15th, 10AM BST, to learn co-regulation tips and techniques for the insecurely attached. Things like:
- The importance of healthy boundaries in co-regulation
- The difference between empathy and hypervigilance
- Which co-regulation techniques feel safest to each insecure attachment style
- The role your nervous system plays in co-regulation
About Natalie:
Natalie is a trauma-informed attachment coach. Transform your relationships through a greater understanding of how attachment theory influences the way you seek connection. 121 attachment coaching available online or in Brisbane, Australia. Group events available online and throughout SE QLD. To schedule a free discovery call visit https://thisbeinghuman.live.
