What we’re about
Join us for reading and thoughtful discussions on topics such as Understanding Yourself, Social and Behavioural Psychology, Finding Happiness, Meaning Of Life, Mindful Living, etc.
The book club is for everyone who is interested in reading and learning about philosophy and psychology (non academic) on the one hand and socialising with the like minded people to discuss the topics in a friendly environment on the other.
The venue
We will be reading a new book every month and meeting to discuss at (location tbd)
Upcoming events (1)
See all- To Have or to Be? by Erich FrommBacchus Bar in Birmingham (http://goo.gl/maps/nUgLd), Birmingham
This month we will be reading:
To Have or to Be?
by Erich FrommAbout book
In this little book, Erich Fromm wants to heal our atrophied society, focused primarily on having, so that we can become a community more interested in being – finding joy in expressing ourselves. Annoyed by how the current economic system only encourages the act of acquiring more things, a behavior that only provokes a desire for greed for money, fame, and power, To Have or to Be? was created to inspire change. The concept laid down by Erich Fromm, the mode of being, serves as an eye-opener for our crippled society and a way to move forward to a better world.Summary (by Ivaylo Durmonski)
Society promotes belongings, which means that we believe the following dogma: “I am more the more I have.”
The mode of being is living in accordance with your true self. Appreciating yourself as you are.
The healing of society will begin when we start to appreciate nature and things without possessing them.7 Key Lessons from To Have or to Be?:
Lesson #1: The Great Promise Failed
Lesson #2: The Egoistic Behavior Is Common Nowadays
Lesson #3: There is a Difference Between Having and Being
Lesson #4: Having and Being Influence Our Daily Lives Differently
Lesson #5: We Admire Those With Courage To Leave What They Have
Lesson #6: Greed is The Natural Outcome of The Having Orientation
Lesson #7: A New Society Must Be EstablishedLesson #1: The Great Promise Failed
The Great Promise, as the author calls it, that technological advancement will cure us all of from poverty and liberate us from a depressing lifestyle failed.
It all began with our inadequate definition of what success and happiness means for humans.
People believed that access to endless pleasures in the form of material possessions would lead to true joy. But this was proven wrong when more people accumulated more physical things.
The achievement of wealth and comfort led to a society of notoriously unhappy people. As labeled by Erich Fromm, “lonely, anxious, depressed, destructive, dependent—people who are glad when we have killed the time we are trying so hard to save.”Lesson #2: The Egoistic Behavior Is Common Nowadays
There is constantly something new produced. Something new that is making your current things obsolete. The only time we experience joy, in a society praising possessions, is when we acquire more. But since more is constantly produced, we never feel enough. Thus, we want more, to feel more. It’s a never-ending cycle. Therefore, people can never be satisfied and there is never an end to our wishes.
But this realization is not commonly recognized by people. We are sold on the idea that having is what truly matters for a happy life. That you need more to be more.
This is not done by accident.
A large part of the industrial revolution is built around our primitive traits – egoism, selfishness, and greed. After all, only by fostering these qualities, the system can motivate people to work harder and contribute to its growth.Lesson #3: There is a Difference Between Having and Being
In a culture that fosters material possessions above else, it’s hard to imagine that there is an alternative. Something that will make you feel better except obtaining more things.
As Erich Fromm explains, “To have, so it would seem, is a normal function of our life.”
Yet, the great Masters of Living – as the author refers to Buddha, Jesus, and the famous Greek philosophers – introduced an alternative path that will likely lead you to liberation. All the teachings of these highly respected individuals focus more or less on the same thing: Spiritual well-being and inner strength. For Buddha, for example, to find comfort and to achieve a state of “Nirvana,” you must not crave possessions.Lesson #4: Having and Being Influence Our Daily Lives Differently
The average person will probably never think of anything beyond acquiring things. After all, our society is focused only on property acquisitions and making a profit.
If you’re not constantly making more, and having more, you’re not more. Even further, according to our modern standards, you’re less than everyone else who has more than you. Or at least that’s how we, you, and everyone else around you look at things.
That’s why we’re in a constant pursue for more physical possessions.
Still, the being mode emerges every now and then. Most of the time without us realizing it. It appears when we’re truly engaged in a particular topic or when we’re passionate about an activity. When this happens, we experience true joy. That’s why it’s so important to define it and to understand when the being mode is formed – so we can focus more on being and less on having.
In the having mode, there is no alive relationship between me and what I have. It and I have become things, and I have it, because I have the force to make it mine. But there is also a reverse relationship: it has me, because my sense of identity, i.e., of sanity, rests upon my having it. The relationship is one of deadness, not aliveness.”Lesson #5: We Admire Those With Courage To Leave What They Have
The vast majority of people nowadays stay where they are. They move forward with conscious – or don’t move at all – and are strongly tied to what they currently have.
Taking a step into the unknown is something we avoid at all costs. Not because we don’t want more, but because we’re afraid of losing what we already have.
The things we own end up having us, not the other way around.
And though we continuously add more items to our collection of things, we secretly admire those of us who are courageous enough to leave their current possessions and express their true identities. We call these people fearless.
A lot of times, though, this admiration is not expressed directly. When surrounded by our friends, we call them stupid, insane even. We go even further by thinking about their failure. Because, after all, if they succeed, this will mean that we’re a failure. But deep down, however, we identify them as heroes.Lesson #6: Greed is The Natural Outcome of The Having Orientation
The following quote perfectly captures the way our society works, “If I am what I have and if what I have is lost, who then am I?”
When you identify yourself with the things you own, naturally, this leads to a desire to have more.
And what type of qualities do you think this way of thinking encourages in people?
Greed and envy.Lesson #7: A New Society Must Be Established
he goal of Erich Fromm is to help create a new society that starts with the birth of a new Man. A character possessing these, among other, qualities:
Willingness to let go of possessions – having things – in order to fully be.
Inner confidence based on what one is.
Being present.
Respectful and loving of all living things – including nature.
Pursuing goals and happiness but also realizing that no growth can be healthy.About Meeting
Join us to discuss Erich Fromm's views on how to heal our atrophied society.Kindle: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-Be-Continuum-Impacts-ebook/dp/B00BBPWBAK/
Short video summary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_5_xKFktcw
Short audio book: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd8Qz-Rj1gg
A good written summary by Ivaylo Durmonski https://durmonski.com/book-summaries/to-have-or-to-be/
